Adoration

“Worship God!” Rev. 22:9

When life is troublesome, and wars rage around us, when we feel helpless, it’s time to seek the source of life. The One who is our strength when we are weak.

The priest bows deep to the Blessed Sacrament before he retreats from the altar with careful steps. The candles on the golden chandeliers shine a soft glow, enhancing the beauty of the intricate craftsmanship of the monstrance. The Blessed Host is surrounded by golden sparkles.

My eyes lock in with the presence of the Holy One on the altar.

The congregation sits in complete silence. Even the little ones are soaking in the holiness of the moment. I see tiny hands folded in prayer with heartwarming trust.
My awareness of the people surrounding me fades as I keep looking up to the One whose miraculous presence can only be felt by faith. The desire to worship and the remembrance of prior encounters with the One who holds our troubled world in his hands has brought me here.

Yet, my outward silence stands in contrast to my busy mind. As if he didn’t know it already, I ramble my innermost thoughts and preoccupations to him, recounting the worries that keep me tense and on high alert these days. I find relief in telling him the twists and turns of our lives. A life uprooted once more when we thought we had settled down after many years of moving back and forth over the oceans, changing houses, jobs, and churches.

Haiti is in chaos; our home is in chaos, and my children are stuck in a country that is shut off from the exterior world. Gang wars rage around them, with half of the country’s population in dire distress to find food and shelter because they lost everything in the violent attacks of vicious gangs. How can I not worry? The danger is real. It doesn’t matter that we brought four of our little ones to safety. All that counts now is those still left in harm’s way.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.

The words of Psalm 23 soothe my mind. We went through the dangers of war and revolutions more than once. Often, a peaceful life seemed impossible. He brought us through, unharmed. It fills me with deep thankfulness.

I stop rambling. He knows it all, anyway.

Breathing softly, sitting in still adoration of the Holy One, my soul quiets in his presence. I bathe in the moment of holy calm and wait for what I know will certainly come.

Time has no importance anymore. Soft memories rise, Be still and know that I am God, filling my soul with peace.

And then he speaks. Speaks to me words of encouragement, like he always does. Speaks in the depth of my heart, washing away my worries.

“Trust me,

Trust me, no matter what.

Trust me.”

I let the words sink in, and know they are the truth. Countless times he has led us out of a valley of death and set us back on the mountaintop. My cup overflows. Only goodness and mercy…

“Thank you, Lord.”

He doesn’t need to say many words for my confidence to return, for deep inner joy and peace to grow. To feel certain that all is well. All is well with my soul, my children, and our lives.

No matter what the future holds, I trust in Jesus.
In Adoration, I find strength in my weakness.

Returning home, I open my bible at random:
 “Worship God!…Do not keep the prophetic words of this book a secret, because the time is near when all this will happen.” Rev 22:9-10

Amen. So be it.